Creepy

I'm listening to Heavenly Date and Other Flirtations by Alexander McCall Smith. It's a collection of short stories and is read by "various narrators".

The blurb for the book is quite misleading. It refers to "hilarious stories" and I would not have described any of the stories as even amusing.

And some of them are quite sick. The second story in particular is unsettling. I was unsettled from the get go because the various narrator, Simon Pebble had a creepy tone (sounded like he might be about to say, "He looked down at his hands and saw the blood. Blood. Blood. So much blood. He screamed but there was no sound.") At first I thought it was an appalling choice of reader for a light-hearted McCall Smith romp. Then I realised what was going on in the story and I gave the narrator's inflections a big tick of approval.

Most of the the stories are engaging enough, but some don't really go anywhere. What carries the story tape is the various narrators who a really good job of making something out of not much really.

Contrasts

To keep my brain fresh and young by learning new things, I am listening to Talking Poofy's poofcasts, which promise to be - "Everything you ever wanted to know about our people, and all the things you were too terrified to ask". I am learning a lot. And cackling.

I've only just discovered the poofcasts and it turns out they have a back catalogue of 40 episodes! Luckily many of them aren't available, because otherwise I might overdose.

Because I'm all about balance, I'm also listening to Love over Scotland by Alexander McCall Smith.

The audio books I hate the most

A Distant Mirror: The Calamitous 14th Century expired last week before I finished it and I am not going to renew it. I kept missing bits and I was getting hopelessly confused. And it was 28 hours long. That is too long.

So I borrowed La's Orchestra Saves the World by Alexander McCall Smith read by Beth Chalmers.

I don't like it. I've just realised why. It's abridged. I hate abridged story tapes. Hate them.

It doesn't help that the narrator sounds like she could be reading Noddy, Watch the Carrots Don't Boil Over! or some such.

So I've gone from one extreme to the other. From arduously long and detailed to idiotically short.

End of the Road

I have finally finished The Road by Catherine Jinks. It was good but it was way too scary for me.

The characters said "Oh my God!" a lot, and that was fair enough. They went through a pretty gruesome and gruelling time. The scariness, though very skillfully done, caused problems for me:

• I kept thinking about it when I was trying to get to sleep.

• I kept listening to it when I should have been going to bed/work because I couldn't stop.

To help recover from the scary thriller I am now listening to The Careful Use of Compliments by Alexander McCall Smith. And if any severed heads turn up I'm going to be pretty pissed off.

Story tapes

I have listened to story tapes since I was in Grade Four. Of course they're often not tapes anymore, but audio books will always be story tapes for me.

Story tapes aren't a replacement for reading, I listen to them when I'm doing other things. Like cooking, or folding the washing. Mary Poppins was on the money: in every job there is to be done there is an element of fun, and for me that fun is often story tapes. Nothing fires me up for a domestic task like knowing I have an entertaining tape to listen to while I work.

At the moment I am listening to Alexander McCall Smith's Love over Scotland read by Hilary Neville. It's the third book in the 44 Scotland Street series. This is ideal material for an audio book. First published as a serial in the Scotsman, the story is episodic by nature and therefore designed to be dipped in and out of.

Yesterday I dipped in for a substantially longer period than usual as I was working on a craft project. I am not craftily talented but I enjoy the odd project. My sister and I are making a Christmas present for our other sister who is overseas.

It's a decorated bra and brief set.

As you can see I have done fabrics, nipple adornments and a snazzle crotch. I will now send this on to my sister in Sydney who will complete the puff paint work.

I probably spent two hours on this yesterday. I would have been completely bored were it not for Love over Scotland, which kept me glued to my craft-gluing seat with its delightful stories of everyday dramatic tensions and thoughtful ruminations on human behavior and psychology. I also think the Edinburgh aspect may have pushed me towards a tartan theme.