Act like an adult

Guests on the ABC's The Book Club have been known to give audio books a spray. I remember particularly Lawrence Mooney's contribution, which made me hopping mad at the time.

Will Self launched into this familiar territory in the September show claiming that listening to an audio book is an anathema to literature, which is by definition words on a page. The popularity of audio books is a sign that adults don't want to grow up and act like adults.

It's very simple. Eyes to get words good. Ears to get words bad. People who listen to audio books need to grow up and/or grow a brain. (If you're visually impaired? I guess you just have to accept that you can never really access literature.)

The exception to this is if you've come along to a public event where Will Self has been invited to read aloud from his own works, like in this video. That's okay. In that case, he's following in the grand literary tradition of Dickens or something.

OR maybe he looks down on everyone in the audience for being so infantile as to listen to words and then to further demonstrate their stupidity at the end by clapping. (Toddlers clap, if you're over 18 you need to snap out of it.)

AND he doesn't like adult colouring in books either. He thinks they're another sign of immaturity. As if! Check this out! I did it last night while listening to a podcast.

Still Listening

I've had a few years away from this blog, but no time at all away from story tapes. Looking back over my previous entries I realised some things have changed since I last wrote.

Cassettes are over
I know they were fairly damn over in 2011 as well, but the Yarra Libraries were kind enough to keep some on hand until 2012 when they finally chucked them all out (I managed to snaffle a few). Cassettes do have some advantages. When you press stop on a cassette it stays in exactly the same spot until you go back to it. You can't listen to a cassette on a device with a screen, so there's no chance of getting sucked into other screeny activities. And, although it's a heart wrenching moment, when a cassette ribbon gets chewed up by the machine, it is quite satisfying winding them back up with a pen.

Anyway, audio books will always be story tapes to me, even when I'm downloading them into my ear-chip implants. It's too late to change.

The line between an audio book and a podcast can be blurry
Many podcasts, including some of my favourites, consist of people sitting around having a chat, and laughing too hard at each other's jokes. But shows like This American Life often tell shorter, scripted stories. To me, it feels a lot like listening to an audio book.

However, I don't feel the need to create hard and fast definitions anyway. 'Listening to voices talking without pictures' is about as narrowly as I'd be prepared to define it.

There's no shame in it any more
For many years whenever I admitted (and it felt like an admission) to listening to story tapes I was met with either blank stares or snorts and condescending comments. I would end up feeling defensive and saying, 'I do read books as well.'

These days I'm having lots of supportive conversations with other audio book listeners from all kinds of backgrounds.

I first realised things had changed when I was in the green room (actually it was a school library, but it still felt glamorous) at a writer's festival last year. Someone said, 'Who actually listens to audio books?' I inwardly sighed and prepared myself to for a solo defence of the format, but before I could start three other people piped up, 'I do.'

I'm not sure why this change has happened. I suspect podcasts and the availability of services like audible have helped, but I'm no expert.

To be fair, it hasn't all been smooth sailing. In 2013 I was disappointed by Lawrence Mooney's audio book shaming comments on the ABC's Book Club, but things are definitely improving.

So, I'm looking forward to writing about what I've been hearing again.

Jeeves

I'm listening to Ring for Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse. I thought I knew exactly what I was getting with this one but I didn't.

Firstly I assumed it would be read by Jonathan Cecil, who I believe is the ultimate Jeeves narrator. Instead it is read by Nigel Lambert. I was concerned, but without cause, Lambert does a great job.

Secondly, I assumed Bertie Wooster would be present. He is not. Jeeves is instead in the service of Bill (Lord) Rowcester. I miss Bertie. Bill is also dim and bumbling, but he doesn't have Bertie's turn of phrase.

Thirdly, the book is explicitly set in the 1950s. There's all kinds of references to the modern world, like television and the welfare state. Not sure I'm a fan of this because Wodehouse is all about escapism for me.

And finally, no-one is trying to get out of an engagement. There is still the classic breaking of the engagement and subsequent reunion plot, but I like this to be paralleled with a fellow trying to get out of  an engagement too.

So not 100% what I was expecting but still absolutely fine to cook dinner to.

When the cupboard is bare

From time to time, I don't have a story tape to listened to. I finished The Accidental Billionaires on Tuesday and I haven't had a chance to go to the library to borrow something new.

How do I cope? I listen to Frasier episodes on YouTube. I find this a very pleasant accompaniment to cooking/cleaning etc. It also has an added benefit. My partner pretends to find this even more annoying than story tapes. So when I go back to the audio books he is more tolerant. Variety! Good on!

The joy of being annoyed

I've just started listening to The Bay by Di Morrissey read by Kate Hood.

I've listened to a couple of other books by Di Morrissey on story tape. I found them extremely irritating. I've chosen to borrow another one because I enjoy being annoyed. It is fun to shout, "No-one describes their own house as a mansion!" or, "Vexed exposition!" or, "I hate you all!"

Unfortunately, I have never been able to convince my partner to join me in this activity at home. Not only does he not enjoy being annoyed by bad story tapes, but he acts like story tapes in general are annoying. (I say "act" because this is clearly not true. Story tapes are great. Everyone loves them because they are so great.)

At the other end of the spectrum, my sister has jumped back on the story tape train and is listening to Salmon Fishing in the Yemen by Paul Torday. She says it is very good. Her partner has been sucked into it too, so she has to wait for him to come home before she can listen to it.

At least I don't have that problem.

Decisions

Big decisions ahead. We are driving to Adelaide from Melbourne for Christmas. Obviously having a story tape to listen to is vital. Our car doesn't have a CD player, but there's NO NEED TO PANIC - the Richmond Library still has cassettes. Tomorrow I will be heading there to consider the options. I could be gone some time.

My partner makes things tricky as he sometimes acts like story tapes are annoying. He will have to suck it up though, because there's no way I'm driving for eight hours with no narrative.

In order to be sensitive to his feelings I will try to avoid anything with:
a) A narrator with an American accent (despite having lived in America he acts like he's being stabbed in the ear)
b) Stories about plucky young women making the best of being thrust into unfamiliar surroundings - most commonly a palace, cattle station or bonnet making factory.
c) Stories about English village life.

My partner's pickiness along with the fact that I have to get cassettes not CDs severely limits my options, but no-one said listening to story tapes would be easy. These are the challenges that make it great.

In other news, I'm still going with Cleaving. Julie is now travelling the world, visiting random places to sample their meat while she fantasises about being reunited with her skanky lover who has completely lost interest in her. Her husband is waiting for her at home, which is yet another burden for Julie, why is her life so hard?